I Think I Just Wet Myself
I like to think of myself as a fairly brave person. Unless you have razor sharp teeth and are frothing at the mouth, there’s really not a whole lot I’m afraid of. That wasn’t always the case, though. When I was a kid, there was plenty of things that freaked me out, and the horror movies I loved to watch didn’t help any. Here’s my list of the top 5 movie characters that mad me almost soil myself when I was a kid.
#5 – The Tall Man from Phantasm
This guy just freaked me right the fuck out. He was mean, butt-ugly, and one scary mo-fo. The one scene that replays itself in my head is the one where the kid is in the bathroom and sees the Tall Man in the mirror behind him. The Tall Man yells out “BOY!”, and the kid spins around, only to have the Tall Man break through the mirror, grab the kid, and drag him to his doom.
#4 – American Werewolf in London
The best story I can tell about this movie is the one where my brother and I had a mutual friend spend the night one summer. Our friend had his girlfriend sneak down so they could fool around out in our camper – he just wanted one of us to come down and get him before my dad got up for work. The movie ended about 20 minutes before dad was going to get up, and my bother and I almost got into an argument over who was going down at 3:37am in the pitch dark to go get our buddy and save all of us an ass-chewing. Needless to say, we got an ass-chewing.
#3 – Freddy Krueger
Say what you will about the last few chapters of the Nightmare on Elm Street series, the first one scared the bejeezus out of me. I was 9 years old when this movie hit theaters, so I was no more than 10 or 11 when I finally convinced my parents I was “grown-up” enough to watch it. I probably would have been fine if it hadn’t been my first horror movie ever and the fact that my mom made me go to bed as soon as it was over. I honestly don’t remember it, but I’ve been told I was standing at the top of the stairs crying and not wanting to go back to sleep ever. I think it’s all lies and they made it up to hurt me. My family is mean.
#2 and #1 after the links.
- Emma Watson all growed up
- Perrier’s Creative Melt Ad Campaign
- Top 25 Songs of 2008 Mashup
- How a Fire Eater makes Popcorn
- Marissa Miller says her boobs are real
- Left 4 Dead 2 game trailer
#2 – Pennywise
Was there ever anything as freaky as Tim Curry dressed up as a clown? No, I’m not talking about the Rocky Horror Picture Show, that was just stupid. I still shiver when I think of poor Georgie chasing his paper boat to the storm drain. “We all float down here….”
#1 – The Child Catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
This guy still gives me the creeps. Not only was he a freaky looking pedophile (ok, not proven, but come on!), but there was no where you could hide from him because he’d just sniff you out with that freakishly long nose of his. I remember watching this movie at the high school when I was about 8 years old. Every time this guy came on the screen, I had my face buried in my mom’s arm. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go find my happy place.
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